In today’s video I share with you how to get rid of self doubt & eliminate impostor syndrome.
It can get very easy to start something (a business, become a coach or even a new position at work) and quickly start doubting your abilities.
You begin to look back and think: “am I really worthy of this?”
Let’s investigate these thoughts and feelings: why they happen and how to eliminate them once and for all.
As I started my business, it was difficult to look at other successful coaches on YouTube who were doing something similar.
All sorts of doubts and fears came to mind. The most prevalent being:
“What gives me the right to do this?”
The more I entertained thoughts like those, the more I became paralyzed and thought: “what’s the point?”
From my experience, there are 3 big reasons why people get crippled by the impostor syndrome and start doubting themselves.
So here’s what we discuss:
Hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment/questions below and I’ll try to personally answer each one.
Quazi here. And in today’s video, I want to share with you how you can overcome imposter syndrome and how to stop doubting yourself and how to stop overthinking so that you never end up procrastinating. You never feel like there’s an invisible barrier between you and your goals, but you can always just move forward with ease. And it’s always a smooth ride. Now, before I begin this video, I wanted to let you know that this is a very, very broad topic. I could even make a whole program about this. Like there’s so much into this and throughout my journey, I’ve learned so many lessons and I’ve struggled with feeling like an imposter myself. So I want to sh distill it into the key things that I think will benefit you the most. So you can walk away from this video with actual actionable tools that you can use and principles you can understand and internalize for yourself so that you can use them and, you know, experience relief from it.
But like I said, as a disclaimer, this is a very, very broad topic. Everyone has their own individual reasons why they feel like an imposter and the only way to do that and understand that is to get deeper into someone’s situation. So, so before I do go ahead and get started, I invite you to subscribe to our exclusive email lists, where I share stuff that I can’t really share on the channel, uh, via email. So if you just click on the link in the description, I’ll put in a pin comments, so you can just go down and click on it and you can just put in your email address and be subscribed and receive exclusive stuff that I can’t quite share on the channel. So, um, yeah, that further delay, let’s go ahead and get started. And let’s talk about this topic of imposter syndrome, why you don’t feel like you’re good enough, why you keep doubting yourself and your abilities, why you’re stopping yourself from the greatness that you are destined for. Now throughout this journey, I myself have experienced this. When I began, I would always question myself what gives me the right to coach people? You know, I don’t even have a life coaching degree. I don’t have this and I don’t have debt. So my focus was always going on. Why I’m not good enough, the underlying feeling,
Because I’m not good enough. I’m not enough.
And then I would find reasons to justify why I’m not enough, right? I would look at, um, other people crushing it and looking and comparing myself, sizing myself up against these other people and other coaches, all of these people who are making videos of like, why would I make it up to that level of a million subscribers or, you know, I’m making X amount of money a month. And when I started to focus on all of these things and sizing myself up against other people, you inevitably fall into this trap, right? Because now you’re going on someone else’s lane, you’re moving on someone else’s path rather than your own. So this is the first reason
Out of three, three big
Things. Why you have imposter syndrome and why you, uh, self sabotage inevitably, the number one reason is you are sizing yourself up against someone else. Okay? You’re comparing yourself to someone else. So imagine you’d log into social media. You go on YouTube or something, or you go on Facebook and on your newsfeed, you see all of these people who are in your niche or your space, and you start comparing yourself to them. You start seeing what they’re doing. And you’re like, Oh, I don’t know how to do that. And then you try to copy them, right? That’s the second trap you fall into. You try to copy them. So this is actually the second part of you comparing yourself to others. You start to copy them, hoping it would work for you, but it doesn’t work for you because that’s not. You. You see what I mean? So now you’re trying to play someone else’s game instead of being authentic to yourself and staying on
Your own lane. Okay?
The solution to this is to obviously stop comparing yourself to other people and stop getting sucked into these quote unquote pendulums. Because in society, there are all of these pendulums that tell you what to want, because you look at other people and you’re like, Oh, look, this person is traveling all the time. They have financial freedom and they feel happy all the time. And that’s what it’s made for us to think. But in reality, it’s probably not true, right? So we will want to deep down experience happiness. And then we start to put reasons behind what will make us happy. Oh, when I get this house, I’ll be happy. Oh, when I, you know, make this much money, then I’ll feel free. But you’re operating from this place of insecurity. Hoping that something external will solve it. That’s not true. The internal is what causes the external. So if that underlying thing deep down is placed in your unconscious, it’s always going to keep on plugging.
So how does that
One overcome this? How does one overcome comparison? It’s actually very simple. Stop looking at other people because in your mind you think, Oh yeah, I need to be updated with the market. I need to look at what other people are doing. What I make my videos. I don’t look at what other people are doing. I don’t even look at my past videos. You know, at, at worst, I look at my past videos and what I’ve actually talked about to give me more contexts. But before making this video, I was just like, well, what has worked
For me? What’s genuinely experientially worked for me.
Can I share? What value can I give? So when you shift your focus from what other people are doing to
What have I done? What do I know? Then you’ll stop feeling like an imposter, you know?
And you’ll just be authentic and true to who you are. Do you see what I mean? So stop comparing yourself to other people, stuff going on, social media, you know, going through your newsfeed and looking at what other people are doing. I even got newsfeed blocker to cut out Facebook, right? Because it, it, it got that toxic. I don’t even log into Facebook anymore. It just, it just becomes like that. You know, you just go on social media, you have your newsfeed and you see all these other people doing these things. You see a competitor, do something like, Oh no. Now I got to change everything I’m doing. You just become super reactive and you can’t focus on a vision. You become very short term, very shortsighted. You can only look at, Oh no, what did I do today? How much money did I make today?
Oh, how much money did I make this month? Or how much money did I make this year? Think longer term, you know, what do you want 10 years from now? What do you really want to be doing? Give yourself some space. So, number one, the number one reason why you have imposter syndrome is you compare yourself to others instead of giving yourself permission to be yourself. Because you think that in order to be successful, you need to be someone else. You don’t see that in order to be successful, you need to be more and more yourself. And the biggest problem with being yourself, why most people can’t be themselves is there is no template for being yourself. You just have to be very intuitive. And the path forward is dark, right? There’s a lot of uncertainty. So you can’t get comfortable in this uncertainty. Therefore you fall into following these proven systems and copying what other people are doing.
So society itself right now is conditioning us to become more and more do as I do, right? It’s a bit school teaches you what to do. Your employers tell you what to do. Only when you come into a business and you start up your own business, you really learn to you start to learn the true lessons of life. And that’s what I’ve started to learn. You go your own journey and your own path. You don’t have that security, that safety net anymore, but you have to truly learn to let go and trust. Okay? So this is what most people, miss. Number one reason, stop comparing yourself to others, learn to get comfortable in this uncertainty. Okay. You’re going to have doubts and that’s okay. You’re going to feel like an imposter at times. And that’s okay. Give yourself even permission to feel that, give yourself permission to feel uncertain.
This is what most people don’t get. When they feel uncertain, they think it’s a bad thing. They think uncertainty and doubts are bad, right? But the more you resist it, the resistance itself is the problem. Not the feeling, the content, isn’t the problem, but it’s your attitude to the content, right? So your attention, it you’ve become unconscious in it. When you start to compare yourself to others and when you become reactive, you fall unconscious. Okay? So there’s now a key difference between reacting and responding. Responding becomes a more conscious process of, okay, I’m getting feedback. Now I can take some space, evaluate what’s happening and provide an appropriate response. Reaction is like, Oh. You know, I’m on call. I’m falling unconscious. Now just, just do what you’ve been doing. Do what’s been trained. So reaction is a survival mechanism. Responding is more to thrive, right?
If you want to thrive, you’ve got to learn to respond appropriately. Don’t get me wrong. If there’s a alligator trying to eat you, you you’re going to run. That’s a, that’s a survival mechanism, right? But in our day-to-day lives, we don’t have to react a lot. You shouldn’t be reactive in your business. Most of the time, at least there’s, there’s places to it. There’s a fine balance to this. But most of the time we should be responding to life. Okay. And you understand that you’re responsible for everything. Responsibility means the ability that you have to respond to something. Okay? So that’s number one, you feel like an imposter because you compare yourself to others. You become reactive, you fall asleep and you give into this story of do, as I do. And you start to follow others instead of allowing yourself to be in this uncertainty, getting comfortable in this uncertainty and uncovering the path for yourself. Everyone has a unique path doing a business. Isn’t for everyone. Some people fare better when they work with a team and it worked for someone in a company that they truly believe in. Okay. Just because you see other people starting up businesses doesn’t mean you have to start up a business just because you see other people making a ton of money. Doesn’t mean you have to make a ton of money. Do what you love to do. Okay. When you start to follow your heart,
What do you truly deep down want? All of those things will come anyways. Okay. So that’s
Number one. Number two. This leads me to number two, your goal, you know, what is your goal? When you focus on your goal, how much importance does your goal have when you put too much, meaning on your goals, you create this separation between where you are now and where you want to get to. And you keep focusing on your goal from a place of lack. And the more you keep focusing on your goal from a place of lack, the more it strengthens the Slack. So it’s kind of like being on a highway, right? And you look at the car next to you and you focus on avoiding the cop. AK you focus more on avoiding your current situation. And the more you focus on avoiding life, doesn’t care about, you know, what you focus on. It, it, it, it moves you towards the content of your focus. So the more you focus on avoiding that car, the more you move towards it. Right? So just like that, when you focus on your goal, and you’re actually really deep down, focusing more on getting away from the, the, you know, scarcity and all the bills and the nine to fives and the failure cycle. When you keep focusing more on that, instead of really focusing on what you want to move towards, you keep moving towards your actual things that you don’t want
The bills, the nine to five, the, the, you know, failure that you don’t want. Okay? So,
So this is also why you feel like an imposter because you keep focusing on why
You don’t like you’re stuck in a place of lack. You’re like, Hmm, I don’t, I want this, but I don’t have this.
And you focus more on, I don’t have this. Then I want this The second, that’s the first part to this. Okay. The first, that’s the first part to this. The second part to this is
Sleep. When you focus excessively on the goal to the point. Yeah.
You focus. Forget about the process. So if you look at really successful,
Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant,
All of these successful basketball players, they never focused on winning the game. Their focus wasn’t on winning the game. Their focus was on the love for the game. They loved the game so much. And as a result, winning came, when you love something so much, you want to get better at it. You, you you’re completely involved in it and you stop counting the hours that you put
So really think about this, look at your life right now, how much are you focusing? How much importance are you putting on the external goal of X amount of revenue versus how much focus are you putting in on the thing that you love to do though, produce that most people are grinding and gritting their teeth, doing something they don’t want to do to
Make the money that, you know,
Money doesn’t even matter at the end of the day, doesn’t you think it’s going to make you happy. But if you come from a place of lack and scarcity, that money is going to go away just as quickly as it came, you can work for your whole life, but you don’t. If you don’t love what you’re doing, you’re never going to be able to keep it. You’re never going to be able to enjoy it. Okay. So this is what happens when you become successful unconsciously. When you become successful unconsciously, you always start to suffer your success. To give you an example of this in my personal life. At one point after my business started to generate a lot of money, you know, we started doing a hundred, 150 K a year.
My focus went from the thing
That generated 150 K a month. Okay. Giving value, uh, making these YouTube videos, um, coaching our clients and the love for that being waking up excited to help people and see them get results. My focus went from that to focusing more on the goal, which is, Oh, I want to make 200 K a month. I want to make 300 K a month. The more I focused, the more I put that on a pedestal, the more I put importance on that, the more resistance I created because it’s, this is a principle called obliquity. There’s a great book on this. It’s called obliquity it’s that you never achieve the goal. By focusing on the goal, you folk you focus on the process. And the byproduct of the process is the goal. The by-product of me doing what I love to do, making the YouTube videos, giving value was making the money
And clients joining.
So when I stopped my, my focal point, when it went from, let’s see what we can do today. Let’s see how much value we can give today. Let’s let’s work on something, let’s build something. Instead of that, my focus went to make money. Okay, what can I do to make money?
And then when
You start to focus on that, your focus doesn’t go on the thing that actually makes money. I hope this is making sense. So just like that, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, they don’t focus on winning the game. They focus more on loving the game, showing up, being the best they can be. So it’s kind of, this is why, you know, our program is focused only on mindset because that’s the only thing that matters. It is focused on you becoming the best version of yourself
Because you getting
The external results that you want is a by-product of you becoming your best self. When you work on becoming your best self, the natural consequence is you get what you want. When you focus on doing what you love, the natural consequence is money or whatever it is that follows along with it, right? So if you were, it’s like all of the famous artists, you know, when they focus on just getting, wanting fame, those artists never become famous. But the artists who really focus on their craft and becoming really good and making a great product, which is the music, those artists become famous. So the fame becomes a by-product of doing something
Great, right? Making
Something great for people giving value to people. So that’s number two, focusing on your external goals and not putting those on a pedestal, but focusing more on what,
So, you know, the process that will produce the external goals.
Number three, this is a trap most people fall into as well. And this is the excessive importance on self. Okay? You start to focus more on your own shortcomings, then what you can provide, then how you can serve. So for example, you start to, let’s say you get on a sales call, right? Let’s say, you’re an entrepreneur. You are selling you’re in sales, you’re selling something and you get on a call. And instead of focusing on the prospect and the prospect’s problems and what you can do for them, you start to focus on, Oh, what’s the right thing I can say to get this that’s again, the focus that the obliquity principle, you’re thinking about, what you can get rather than what you can give. When you forget about what you can get, and you just focus on giving whatever you wanted, we’ll just,
That’ll just happen. So within all of these, there’s an action.
So deeper principle that’s happening because at the end of the day, you still got to focus on the goal, but you have to let go of the goal as well, and focus on the process and fall in love with the process. You’ve got to focus on becoming your best self as well, but not excessively to the point where you, you know, it becomes self-defeating,
Got to like do research and look at what the market wants as well, but not excessively to the point where you start comparing yourself to other people. Right? And the key principle here is that of balance. Okay? It’s like, it’s having a, it’s treading that fine line. You look at what
Happening to keep your finger
On the pulse of the market, but not too much that you become unconscious and become reactive to it. You watch it as an observer. Okay? You watch yourself grow and be your best self as an observer. You know that you’d never identify with all of these things. You watch your goals as an observer, the more you start identify with them, the more you’ll ride these highs and lows and become even more and more unconscious. Okay?
So let’s do a
Recap of the three big things that we talked about today that make you self-sabotage that, you know, bring you to this imposter syndrome and lead you to doubting yourself. Number one is when you start to compare yourself and you follow a path, that’s not yours, you tread along the path at that. That’s not yours just because it looks glamorous just because you think it’s what you want. You go more towards what you think you want rather than what you really want. So a great way to do that is to shut off your mind and just look deep down at what excites you, look at your patterns, look at your behaviors. You know, what do you love
To do? What would you do for
Free if you never got paid for it? So there’s that number two is this excessive importance on this goal? When you put your goal on a pedestal, it has no choice, but to look down upon you, okay? The way to achieve the goal isn’t to focus on the goal. It’s to focus on the process that produces the goal. Okay? Every single time in my life I’ve achieved a goal. It was because I never even dreamed of it to be completely Frank with you. I never dreamed of growing a coaching business that will do 150 K a month. I didn’t, I was happy to have a business that allows me enough money to leave my full-time career. Right. That was what I wanted. But then I just, somewhere along the way, I just started focusing on the process and really falling in love with the process, you know, doing the work, showing up for my clients, giving them value.
And I fell in love with that. That was exciting to me making these YouTube videos, giving people value. That was exciting to me. And when I started to focus on all of these things, one day I lifted my head up and I looked around and I was like, Oh, look, what’s happening. How did this just happen? How did I just do ADK this month? How did it just go from 20 to 80 K a month in my business? That’s insane. So I couldn’t, I was in disbelief myself. There was this goal, you know, that I set. Once I hit the goal, my first milestone, like, ah, maybe I can do it. Let’s see what happens. But it was more of an attitude of let’s see, not more of a, I need this. Okay. That’s number two. Number three is to successive focus on yourself and your limitations, right?
So we start to focus on our own qualities rather than looking at what what’s needed, right? So you’ve got to focus on your own qualities, to the point where you want to, you know, adapt yourself, adapt the character, to become better suited to the goal, but not to the point where you excessively keep thinking about your limitations. So it’s again, that focal point, what’s in your focal point right now. It’s the same thing with the goals. Are you focusing more on what you don’t have or more on what you want to move towards? Are you focused more on who you’re not, and what’s not serving you? What qualities are not serving your shortcomings
Or what qualities you need to have. And one to have, right?
A big pot, a big reason. All of these things happen is because we become very, very mind centric.
And we think that, you know,
We make our decisions for the future futures of our lives based on what’s happened in the past. So, because we’ve seen ourselves in a certain pattern, we’re like, Oh no, I can’t make YouTube videos. I can’t do this. This isn’t me. Oh, I can’t do this. And I can’t do that because I’ve never done
Before. Give it a try. See what happens. You’ve got to suspend your disbelief. I’ve actually made a video on this. If you click the little icon up here,
Uh, you will find a video on suspension of disbelief, but essentially it’s putting your beliefs to the side because beliefs literally mean, I just, I don’t know. Instead of admitting, I don’t know. And becoming open to receiving what we do is we hide behind our beliefs. We hide behind these limiting beliefs,
So with that, I conclude this video. Thank you so much for watching. I sincerely hope this was helpful. I know this was a little bit all over the place, but I hope you can get value out of this. Just rewatch this look at the three big reasons I’m telling you that that’ll help you overcome it. But I would love to know your thoughts on where you thought of this video and the style of this video. If you like the more conversational style, you want me to go back to the whiteboard and let me know in the comments below. And if you’re new to the channel, make sure you like comment, subscribe hit the little bell there. So you’re notified of any new video that I put up. And also if you want it to work together with us in the reality Marshall program, you can schedule a free consultation call with us. The link for that is also in the description below now, who we typically work with are people who are entrepreneurs, who are wanting to scale up their business. But in an, in an oblique way, they start to realize that they don’t have a tactical or strategic problem. You know, they don’t have a lack
Of skills, but
What they do have is a lack of belief in themselves, or what they do have really is an internal problem. You know, they keep sabotaging, they have an inconsistent revenue and this all happens when they internally get into this place of anxiety, of self doubt, fear, and all of these things start to reflect out into their business. If that sounds like you, you want to scale up your business by changing yourself internally, by changing your identity, click on the link in the description below to schedule a call with us. Let’s get on. Let’s see if we can help. And I’ll see you that the free Facebook group is open for you to take advantage of as well. The link for that is awesome
Description. Thank you so much for watching till next time. Peace.
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