How To Stop Being Needy & Desperate: Cultivate “Structural Integrity” And Everything Will Chase You


In today’s video I want to share with you how to stop being needy…but still be able to get what you want.

This applies to all areas of life: wealth, relationships, health. This video goes into depth how.

See there’s a huge misconception, and as we’re raised and exposed to societal ideas, we buy into them.

We buy into the idea that one must work hard to earn their place under the sun.

That you must have a “burning desire” or else you’ll never get it.

I love this one: “sleep is for the dead”.

While hard work and intense focus has its merits, people become deluded in the societal conditioning and forget the underlying intention that makes all of these work.

The 2 biggest issues I see with those who are needy for that revenue level in their business, or those who are needy for the partner, is the following:

1. They end up exerting too much energy which leads to nothing.

2. They end up achieving their goals but can never keep it.

These 2 things happen because “neediness” in itself implies the following: “I don’t have, I’m not good enough, so I need it to make me feel complete”.

There are lots of subtle nuances in this video, so make sure you watch it till the end with your full focus.

Here’s what I discuss:

  • The biggest mistake most make: the assumption of incompleteness
  • How acting from scarcity brings in more scarcity
  • Chasing vs attracting: the subtle difference
  • The identification trap: why you unconsciously appear needy & what to do about it
  • Structural integrity: why this 1 thing will help you become more grounded
  • Living from the “end” assumption
  • The 3 keys that have helped me become non-needy

Hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts?


quazi here and in this video i want to
share with you why you have to fight
so hard to achieve your goals and why
you keep having to chase
money you keep having to chase
relationships you keep having to chase
better health
and why all of these things don’t seem
to come naturally to you
we’re going to be talking about the
concept of neediness and
why neediness is actually repelling
everything that you want away from you
and it’s making things more difficult to
achieve and by the end of this video
you’re going to learn
how i got out of this state of neediness
and three keys to help you implement
this right now in your life so that you
no longer have to struggle and
fight so hard but rather effortlessly
action and have it be your neutral these
were lessons that took me a very very
long time to figure out because
if you look at my old videos you’ll see
that i was very very you know i had a
different kind of energy about me
and back then life was a lot more of a
struggle than it is now so these were
lessons that i had to cultivate through
years of studying little nuances about
getting awareness around those that
helped me tweak them
and make this change so i want you to
stick around to the very very end of
this okay
because there’s going to be a lot of
nuance points here that will be very
valuable for you
so with that let’s get started so in
this video i want to talk to you about
one of the deepest principles of life
that i had to figure out over the past
three four years and this is the concept
of non-neediness and why
neediness actually you know prevents you
achieving your goals now there’s a huge
misconception with this
people feel that if you have this
burning desire as long as you need it
and you
you know deep down in your heart you
really really want it
you’ll get it but needing something
never made someone
get it you know there’s a saying that
goes something along the lines of
the hungry never really get fed okay so
why that is is because when you need
you’re automatically assuming that you
don’t already have
and whatever you assume life will start
to reflect that
okay that’s reality is very very
moldable i talk a lot
about this in the channel it’s called
the mirror principle
whatever your attitude is you form the
image with your attitude and the
the material external reality just
reflects that image so
you can click up here to check one of
the videos out but i won’t get much into
that in this video
but what i want to share with you is
that we always go after our goals
with the most in the most ineffective
right and this is the biggest reason why
sometimes people achieve their goals but
they’re never able to maintain
it i can’t tell you how many customers
we have in the program business owners
made 50 60 70 80k a month in their
businesses but they’ve just gone ahead
and lost it because internally they felt
and when they felt insecure and
incomplete they found a way to
self-sabotage it
they never found a way to relax into
whatever it is
that they wanted to relax into that life
to relax into that version of themselves
but there was always that underlying
fear of loss and
you know because they kept focusing on
this fear they just started moving
towards it over time
and then you know eventually it caught
up to them
the reflection started to form okay so
most people actually feel
incomplete and chase their goals you’ll
notice this right
nowadays most people want this money and
this freedom and they
you know internally feel this anguish
they’re like oh i don’t like my job and
i don’t like this and i don’t like that
and their predominant focus is on what
they don’t like
and they come from this place of i don’t
rather than what do i want instead and
assuming and creating that within them
okay so to give an example in terms of
money right in terms of relationship
most people are like oh i feel really
poor so i want to make money
oh i’m really lonely so i want to be in
a relationship
any time in my life i experienced things
that i wanted to experience and actually
kept them
it wasn’t from a place of scarcity or
to give you a very concrete example i
got into a relationship with a woman of
my dreams and got married to her
only when i myself was in a place of
abundance you know i was in a great
i you know i was i had a very great
social life
and i was dating multiple girls at the
time and i felt good about myself
right i didn’t feel shitty about myself
i didn’t feel incomplete
she resonated with that and then we were
able to form a relationship
it was in a toxic one where i felt like
i needed her and i needed to get
but two people came in this harmonious
thing and they brought their
own abundances and combined it and it
became an awesome relationship
right does it mean we don’t have ups and
downs no not at all
but it’s just that if you want to have a
healthy relationship you can’t have it
from a place
where both people are trying to take
something from it right
the same thing with money whenever i
started to chase money in my business
and i saw that one month i would do
3k another month i would do 5k i’d go up
to 8k and then come back down
this inconsistency kept happening
because i was trying to hold on to that
20k a month goal
if you look back at my channel i tried
so hard you know over a period of a year
trying to get to my first 20k month in
the business as soon as i let go of that
by the way when you let go of something
you actually assume that it’s already
you can only let go of something when
you already live from that end of it’s
gonna happen it’s already happened it’s
in the bag
when i let go of it and already assumed
that it was going to happen
that’s when it started to happen for me
within the next three months i went from
5k to 18k to my first
20k a month in the business right so all
of these things came about in my life
not because i felt needy
not because i felt incomplete but
because i felt good about myself
and guess what happens when you feel
good about yourself your actions start
to reflect that as well
so acting from a place of neediness
actually propagates and perpetuates
more neediness so think about it this
way when you
feel needy you know you have this
specific person that you put on a
and you feel needy you need their
attention you need them to acknowledge
you feel incomplete what do you start to
do you start to double text them you
start to think about them all the time
if you put someone on a pedestal they
have no choice but to look down upon you
if you put anything on a pedestal in
your life they’ll have no choice but to
look down upon you
it’ll start to control you like a puppet
on a string and that’s what happens
you fall into that frame and it starts
to tug you anything happens oh my god no
i need this i need this is so important
to me
you start to double text you start to do
crazy that just turns the other
person off
right the other person just gets gets
pushed away
the same thing with you know business i
saw that whenever i was
very very needy for the sale i would
like try to do
sleazy sales tactics i would study nlp
and then i would try to chase people you
know i’d excessively follow up with them
and that just kept turning the prospect
off more and more
so this acting this this place of
makes you feel more and more unconscious
it makes you feel more and more reactive
into that thing that controls you you
you become more and more of a puppet
to the money you become more and more of
a puppet to
the relationship do you see how that’s
happening so
it’s never really the action that
matters right because i could double
text someone
just out of a place of concern it’s the
energy behind that it’s always the
intention behind that
if the intention behind that is i need
then they’re going to feel a
pull you know they’re going to feel like
a like a neediness a sort of toxic
energy coming from you
which will naturally repel people like
think about it this way who do you want
to hang out with do you want to hang out
with someone who’s always looking for
your validation
and is always like that’s right right
like you approve of me right
or do you want to hang out with someone
who has their own world who’s grounded
and rooted in their own lives
and they actually have value to share
with you and together you grow that
obviously the latter right so that’s
basically what i realized
and how i got out of that realization is
what i’m going to share with you but
before we
get to that let’s talk about why you
know why do we
get into this place of neediness why
does this even come in the first place
how can we prevent this from happening
understanding the why is really
important and what i’ve started to
realize is that this place of neediness
comes from an identification
with something that’s very very limited
so to give you an example if something
this also happens by the way when
something starts going really well in
your life okay
let’s say your business starts going
really well you’re making money making
money making money and then one week
it doesn’t go too well and then you
start to panic why does that panic come
about in the first place
it’s the same thing that makes you
insecure it’s this identification with
your business
when you identify with something let’s
draw this out
when you identify with something that’s
very limited
anything that happens outside of it is
going to make you feel insecure
if you start to identify with this
circle and everything within the sphere
of this circle
your relationships money etc anything
that happens outside of it
will make you insecure but then if you
expand your sphere of identification to
now if anything happens outside of this
circle that’s okay
you accept it how you do that is when
stop identifying with your body and your
mind your business
your relationships and you accept that
anything could happen
whatever happens you accept it when you
accept something for what it is
you go beyond mind and body right think
about where this place of acceptance
comes from
it comes from a place of neutral
observance from awareness
you’ll know from all of the research
that’s being done now
awareness is non-local right awareness
isn’t just in the body
it’s actually beyond the body and the
mind because if you look at it right now
there are thoughts happening and there
is that which is observing and
witnessing these thoughts
i’m not talking about your mind i’m not
talking about your
visual like your your sensory perception
of vision
you can see stuff but there is that
which is observing the seeing
that is beyond body and mind that is
this bigger circle
i’ve made more videos about this going
deeper into this so click up here to
check that out on awareness and how to
control your mind but
the more and more your sphere of
identification gets larger and larger
you no longer identify because right now
whatever’s happening within the
boundaries of this body
you’re identified with but as soon as
it’s not
as soon as it’s outside here now you’re
like oh this is not me
this is me this is not me right so your
sphere of identification becomes
limited to this body into this mind so
if your sphere of identification is so
you’re naturally going to want to hoard
everything and just hold on to it
without letting go of it
but if your sphere of identification
becomes the whole world
your loss doesn’t even matter anymore
because someone else is gaining there’s
always a balance in this whole universe
do you see what i’m trying to say i know
this can get a little bit tricky to
grasp and a little woo-woo
but i want you to check out this video i
hope it will help you out but this is
what’s helped me get
out of this limited identification the
more you’re identified to the limited
you know realm of the mind and body the
more you’re gonna suffer
it’s completely inevitable so
now let’s get to the three solutions
that have helped me come from that place
of scarcity
and you know see my business go from
that inconsistent 5k a month to
consistently doing 100 to 150k a month
okay but not even that also getting out
of this place of
neediness and scarcity for relationships
and just getting into a more grounded
rooted place of my own
where things are more effortless now i
can relax into them now
all right so key number one is you’ve
always got to live
from the end okay what do i mean by that
so you people ask me how do you
cultivate this
this certainty how do you cultivate
faith when you start to get
very very clear you don’t need
confidence you don’t need certainty
all you need is clarity so when you’re
at the end when you’ve achieved whatever
you wanted to achieve
what does life look like you live with
the assumption
that that is going to happen no matter
what it’s going to happen no matter what
you’re seeing right now
you just ignore it you accept it but you
always keep in mind every single day
whether this be through visualization
whether this be through
you know inspirational stories that you
even those start to become limited
because they become limited to the mind
you start to accept what is and you look
at what it is you want
okay live from the end live with the
that the end is going to happen
and when you have that assumption you
start to
resonate at the frequency of that
okay when you live from that state
everything starts to align your actions
start to align your things that you
attract into your life
start to align but you yourself need to
at that state do you understand this is
embodying that version of you that would
be experiencing that life
through your feelings through your
thoughts mind and heart
when the mind and heart are aligned you
assume this new identity
so live with the assumption every single
day how do you live with this assumption
look at how you make decisions if you
were your ideal self
how would you make this decision if you
were your ideal self how would you feel
if you were your ideal self how would
you carry yourself
what’s the best way you can embody that
self right now that will start to
reflect that ideal self in this current
and then that’ll catch up we do this in
a very very detailed manner in the
reality mastery program
okay that’s number one number two
this is a concept i like to call
structural integrity
okay structural integrity
what do i mean by that you’ll see that
most people who are needy
and have a low sense of self-worth don’t
structural integrity they don’t have
their own principles that they live by
why because they’re not clear about what
it is they want let alone who it is they
need to become to achieve that
so they start to fall into other
people’s frames
other people’s agendas and they get
spread out into all these different
directions this is also why
a lot of business owners are insecure
about the strategies they try
so they keep trying shiny object after
shiny object
and it’s really easy to fall into that
when you’re not clear about what you
want to create
if as soon as you get very very clear
naturally the conviction comes
naturally the self-worth arises how can
you craft
structural integrity so the best way to
create this structural integrity is to
first of all get clear about
what it is you want who it is you need
to become but number two
do things that are oriented towards you
doubling down on yourself you’ll find
that you have a lot of structural
if you start to say no more than you say
you start to become a no man rather than
a yes man a lot of people might ask you
to hang out you say no not because
you don’t want to hang out but in favor
of you
doing things that are more important so
you’ll see a lot of business owners
don’t say no more than they say yes
because they don’t want to get
distracted because they’re clear about
what their goals are
and they won’t get distracted with shiny
objects and new business opportunities
because they’re clear about where they
want to go and in the short term it may
seem like you’re losing out on a few
extra bucks
but in the longer run you know what
you’re creating is going to be much more
and when you assume that that’s exactly
what happens
okay structural integrity double down on
yourself go to the gym take care of
eat healthy do things for yourself when
you start to do things for yourself your
gets convinced that wait a second this
is valuable
this entities time is valuable
this entities thoughts are valuable
then you start to cultivate this
self-worth and when you start to
cultivate this self-worth
you become less and less needy because
you start to feel more and more grounded
and rooted within yourself
number three don’t ever act
from a place of neediness never act
from a place of fear a place of
don’t act seriously just try not to act
at all
the best thing to do is not to act at
all but to do one or two
very very impactful things and just be
most of the time
most people optimize for acting and
or they optimize for having and taking
you’ll see very very successful people
they optimize for being
they’ll do very few things they don’t
jump at the next thing
but they’re very very they move very
and it looks like they’re moving slow
but they’re actually
moving very fast the actions the few
actions that they take
become very very impactful so when
you’re in a state of neediness and you
feel needy instead of
acting instead of letting that desire
move you into action
allow it to dissolve within awareness
how do you do that well
look at how you feel right now if you
feel anxious naturally this anxiety is
going to drive you somewhere
understand that this acting is a place
of escape
from beingness when you act from a place
of anxiety
you’re distracting yourself you’re
distracting yourself from the anxiety
with action do you see how that’s
you feel anxious you’re like oh my god i
gotta let me let me just watch tv and
preoccupy myself let me just distract
the mind
you’re distracting yourself you’re
escaping oh let me just go take a
vacation let me just take the day off
and do this and do that
instead of turning your attention
and letting it dissolve you turn your
attention outwards
and run away from it you see what i mean
this is what takes me to that concept of
identifying with a larger circle the
more and more you start to
observe and watch so next time you feel
anxious you feel needy you feel
fearful you don’t know what’s coming up
you’re uncertain about the future
let that be
watch yourself watching the anxiety
first begin with the fear right you
begin with this feeling of fear and you
watch that
then you start to watch the watching of
that fear
and you completely accept that without
trying to change it
when you feel lazy allow yourself to
watch the laziness
then that very awareness will correct
that laziness i recently learned this
this concept from sage named
just allow yourself to completely
observe and stay with it
without running away from it in action
without running away from it by changing
the channel of that thought
because the more you try to run away
from it the more it’s going to catch up
to you later on in life
okay and with that i conclude this video
thank you so much for watching i
sincerely hope this was helpful let’s do
a quick recap of what we talked about
today we talked about how to get out of
that place of low self-worth
low self-esteem double down on yourself
and not be
needy but attract things into your life
things will naturally come into your
life if you stop insisting
and stop forcing it but you come from a
place of power you become
great you form the image correctly
and you just hold the image you just
hold the attitude
you just hold the state of being the
doing will naturally follow
from that awareness the doing will arise
and from the doing the having will
that’s what will happen so most feel
first they’re in the state of being of
i’m incomplete i’m not good enough
let’s go and collect those things to
help me feel good enough and
one of two things happens they don’t
either get the thing or if they do
they quickly lose it for example like i
mentioned to your business owners who
are really inconsistent in their
they feel incomplete they’re like oh i’m
not good enough for this
then their actions start to reflect that
even if they do make the money they find
a way to lose it
acting from neediness propagates and
perpetuates more neediness
you are from a place of neediness you
start to double text
turn that partner off it makes you more
you excessively follow up with prospects
who are not interested in your service
instead of just letting them
go in favor of better ones better fit
it makes you even more needy to get
clients makes you even more frustrated
for clients can’t tell you how many
times i see that
how many times i’ve gone through that
and we talked about why this happens
you’re identifying with a smaller sphere
rather than this larger sphere of
and the three solutions we talked about
are number one living from the end
the assumption that the end is already
you live with the very assumption from
that place of being who you would be
at that ultimate destination and try
your best to bring it into now
if i achieved everything that i wanted
to achieve what would my life look like
who would i be how would i carry myself
how would i speak with people how would
i dress what does every single aspect of
that look like
that’s in your direct influence the
results aren’t in your direct influence
they’re an indirect consequence of
of a lot of things but in your direct
is how you how this identity and the
is presented number two
having structural integrity is the key
to getting out of neediness
doubling down on yourself doing things
that serve you working on yourself
eating healthy sleeping well taking care
of yourself respecting yourself
saying no more than you say yes
investing in yourself a lot of people
don’t do that they don’t invest in
themselves they
invest and buy expensive gifts and you
materials books and stuff for other
people but for themselves they hesitate
to do that
do that for yourself and you’ll start to
perceive yourself to be more valuable
number three try not to act from a place
of neediness because remember it’s the
intention that matters
not the action itself the action itself
is an expression
of the intention if the intention behind
your action is i
need then the action will bring in more
of that state of i need and it’ll keep
you stuck here
the only way to break out of it is to
change internally
your intention i don’t need
this would be a bonus i’m already
whenever you do feel needy don’t try to
resist it don’t run away from it
that’d be watch it
with that i conclude this video thank
you so much for watching i sincerely
hope this was helpful
if you’re new to the channel make sure
you like comment subscribe and hit that
little bell there so you’re notified of
any new video that i put out
leave me a comment too and let me know
what you thought of this video if you
want me to make more like this
if you like the whiteboard video or the
videos outside
and yeah just let me know in the
comments i’m also super excited to
announce that you can
work with us in the reality mastery
program and spots for the console are
open so if you click on the link in the
description below
you’ll be able to schedule your free
call with us to see for a good fit to
work together
who we typically work with are people
who are entrepreneurs who want to scale
up their
revenue their businesses and be more
consistent in their revenues and they
that they always keep hitting some
invisible barrier and they don’t quite
know what the barrier is but they know
that it’s not a strategic strategic or
or some external you know problem but
rather it’s an
internal one they’re not seeing
something they keep
going through the same pattern over and
over so if that sounds like you click on
the link in the description below to
sign up i’m looking forward to
speaking with you someone from my team
will speak with you and also the link
for the facebook group is
in the description uh it’s only for
entrepreneurs and professionals
fill up that three question survey and
we’ll get you approved in there
thank you so much for watching until
next time peace

Read More... Read less...

Cultivate the Internal World of a Successful Entrepreneur

How to overcome the revenue barrier and scale your business to 7 figures by shifting your identity

Free Training

Cultivate the Internal World of a Successful Entrepreneur

How to overcome the revenue barrier and scale your business to 7 figures by shifting your identity

Free Training

Want to learn more?

Check out this free training that will show you how to cultivate the internal world of a wildly successful person.

Click here for free training