Today I want to share with you why you get sucked into the same compulsive patterns.
Whether this be excessive drinking, partying, porn, procrastination…or any other undesirable pattern that doesn’t serve you.
And why these patterns keep bringing in the same situations into your life (failed relationships, failure to succeed in business, etc).
First thing’s first – we want to understand why life keeps challenging us.
Why undesirable situations keep ocurring.
Most end up believing that they are doomed and end up resisting the challenges, rather than learning and growing from them.
However, here’s the key: every challenge that we are presented with are unique to us; they come our way to wake us up from identifying with the petty things that don’t matter.
Now we fail these “tests” when we get involved with the thoughts/feelings that are undesired, and let them propel us into action.
Eg you feel anxious and it makes you take the action of reaching for the bottle and having a drink.
One might think that they’ve overcome it, the challenge has been passed!
In reality, the true thoughts and feelings that were trying to dissolve has just been suppressed, only to show up later.
This is how patterns keep replaying in our lives.
The main reason this happens is due to identification with mind.
However, there’s one powerful thing you can do to overcome this groundhog day forever.
So here’s what we discuss:
Hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment below with your thoughts?
Quasi here. And in today’s video, I want to share with you how you can overcome destructive patterns in your life, whether it’s drugs, alcoholism, masturbation, or any other toxic patterns, you know, that even leave you ending up in toxic relationships or attracting the same sort of situations in your life, or maybe you see that for some reason, you keep staying stuck at a certain point, even in your business and you just don’t know why it keeps happening and the same patterns keep happening over and over again, by the end of this video, you’re going to learn why it is that you can’t see it and why it is. There are so many invisible barriers in your life and how to become more and more aware and conscious so that these barriers are no longer invisible, but you actually are able to overcome them and see them clearly.
So before I begin this video and to quickly announce that I’ve made a free bootcamp for you and we have access for you to exclusive email lists. So just scroll down to the pin comments, I’ll attach the link there. You can just go in and subscribe to it, and you’ll be able to receive stuff that I can’t really share on the channel. So with that, let’s not delayed further and go ahead and get started. So in this video, I want to talk to you about toxic patterns that keep happening in your life. You know, uh, whether it be with alcohol, whether it be, you know, um, with masturbation, whether it be any other compulsive pattern that you keep seeing happen over and over again, you know, even procrastination. Now I’ve seen in my personal life, all of these patterns arise, but I’ve found a way to overcome them, but it hasn’t happened quick, right?
To you. It might seem relatively quick, but I’ve had to suffer through it to really find this and to get into deep introspection, to be able to find this solution to this so that every single barrier, you know, there is a, there is an awareness of it. And then this awareness, you also find the solution. So the problem arises in the awareness and the solution also arises in this awareness. So I want to teach you how to cultivate this sort of awareness. So you no longer move with the urges that you have, the feelings that you have in the thoughts that you have, because I find that this is something that a lot of people struggle with and because you struggle with it, the same patterns keep happening. So I’m also going to explain to you why these patterns keep happening. You know what, what’s the cause of this alcoholism. What’s the cause of these same patterns, the procrastination. Okay. So let’s just go right ahead and get started. Now, before we begin, let’s define the problem here, okay? Because if we define the problem, the solution gets easier to find the problem is same patterns keep happening, right? You have the same habits. You have the same patterns and you are now starting to realize that they’re not really serving you right? To give you an example of this. Let’s look at the most prevalent ones with entrepreneurs, it’s procrastination.
It’s sometimes Most people run away from their problems, the real problems that they’re having.
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You’re drinking alcohol, uh, through.
There’s a lot of fear that you feel a lot of anxiety that you feel
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That you escaped with alcohol porn. And just any,
The pattern that you find is no longer serving you right now. Let’s understand why
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These problems happen. Why do these problems happen? Why do these
Patterns keep going over and over again in life right now, any sort of challenge that you’re facing, any sort of problem that’s arising and you identify it as a problem. It’s arising to wake you up. Okay. So
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Challenges show up to wake you up. Challenges, try to wake you. But the problem is
When you fail to wake up, these challenges persist the same challenges, the same fears, the same anxieties, the same doubts they keep coming up over and over again, because you’re not waking up to it. So here’s what I want you to really pay attention to. Anytime you have a thought that you don’t like a feeling that you don’t like, right, what it does is it immediately gets you involved with that feeling. It immediately drives you into action to try and do something, to get rid of that feeling.
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This is where alcoholism arises, right? So
Anytime you have a feeling that you don’t like, or maybe, you know, you feel really comfortable, you know, you’ve hit a certain level in your business. Now it gives you an excuse to fall back to your old patterns. It’s like, Oh, I’ve achieved this. So now I can just Slack off. Right? So that gives you, you sort of give yourself an excuse to fall back into that path.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
So, you know, the challenges
Is the fee is in the anxieties. They drive us into action. So in terms of procrastination, for me, what I used to see was, you know, I would immediately go and check my email if I’m trying to do something hard and I can’t figure it out, or, you know, something is coming up, you know, I have a problem in my relationship or I have a problem. You know, some other area of my life, some conflict, I would immediately try to escape it by finding the easy thing to escape to, which is the phone, social media, uh, checking email. So that’s the easiest,
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The solution, right? We always try to take the easy way out
Instead of waking up in these challenges. What we do is two things. We either get involved in the thoughts and we move with those thoughts of, Oh no. Why is this happening? Why is the business breaking down? Why am I not achieving this? We get involved in those thoughts and entertain more of those thoughts and feelings, or we try to escape them through,
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You know, alcohol porn or
Any other thing that you use to escape. People use excessive eating to escape. I remember sometimes I would just drown myself in dessert and I would just keep eating dessert and just overeating to the point where it just like ruined my health. So I’m going to write over eating here too. If there’s any other compulsive pattern you can think of.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah. Social media
Feel free to let me know in the comments if I’ve missed anything, but you understand the gist of this is just, this is it’s this compulsive action that you no longer have control over. It’s like, it’s, it’s overpowering you, right? So this is why these challenges happen. They try to wake you up, but you keep falling asleep and falling asleep means losing control of your awareness. Your awareness gets identified as mind. Okay? So this is basically what happens. We have
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Awareness. Let’s say this is awareness. Then there is mind. And
Then there is body
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Or the world.
I hope you can see this. So there’s awareness this mind, this body. So let’s talk about what it means to fall asleep, right? Whenever you have these thoughts that you don’t like, right? Anytime a thought arises, you’ll notice that these thoughts become very personal. People start to refer to their anxieties. It’s this is my anxiety. This is my fear. This is my thought. Whenever you have a thought that you don’t like, you’re like, Oh. Why did that thought even happen? It becomes so personal. You start to think and identify with these thoughts, et cetera. You can see body and world. So what happens now is because there is
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You’re falling asleep, you’re becoming reactive to these patterns, to the feelings and thoughts. Awareness gets identified as mine.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Okay? Awareness gets identified as mine and mine always
Votes to the body for its sensations. So this is how your perception of the world works, right? There’s your sense, organs that perceive. So the sense organs are in the body and then the sentence organs, once it registers information is perceived by the mind,
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You see something it’s registered in the mind, but there is something that actually watches the mind,
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Which is awareness. Here’s where it gets interesting. This
Is the barrier of duality.
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Okay. Do elote barrier.
So I want you to bear with me because if you understand that your life is completely going to change, this is the barrier of duality. Why I say that is because there is no opposite of awareness. You can’t be unaware. You can remember that. You’re not aware, but you can’t be unaware. There is no such thing as unawareness. There is some thing is unconsciousness because consciousness occurs in the mind, but there is no such thing as unawareness. There is in the body, there is pain and pleasure in the mind, there is consciousness and unconsciousness, but in here, there is no awareness and unawareness. There is only awareness and the lack of remembering of awareness. So even if you fall asleep, you think that you were unaware and deep sleep. You’re not really unaware. You just don’t remember the awareness, the state of awareness, because this state is beyond mind. Memory occurs in that
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Mind. Okay. So
Why is this important? Well, if you understand this, then you’ll understand
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Keep falling into the same patterns and moving with mine. It’s because this awareness, instead of staying as awareness, whenever the thought of anxiety or the feeling of anxiety and the corresponding thoughts arise here, awareness, since it’s so identified with mind, it takes on the form of mind. So whenever you have a good feeling, you feel good and you move with a good feelings. Whenever you have a bad feeling, awareness gets identified with mine and moves to the bad feelings, right? So this way you keep riding this roller coaster, because awareness is so identified with mind, okay? I hope this is making sense. Leave me a comment below if it’s not making sense, but because awareness gets so identified with mind, it moves up and down. Your attention is attached here. So I want you to think about it this way. Whenever you have a belief or a thought, this thought actually arises as you right now, instead of looking at this thought, it’s arising as you, you’re looking as the thought, you’re not looking at the thought, you’re looking as the thought. So when you look as the thought, your perception gets colored by the lens of these thoughts.
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And when it gets colored, by the lens of these thoughts, these same patterns keep happening over and over again because you perceive yourself to be this. And you act from this place instead of acting from emptiness and seeing the world as it is, you are seeing the world through some colored lens of who you see yourself to be. So something interesting happens at the mind. So this, this whole duality section can actually be broken down into further, uh, components. And if I were to break it down into further components, I’ll break it down into identity,
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Which form your beliefs,
Which then form your thoughts and feelings, which then produce actions. And this becomes a whole loop. I hope you can see this. So there is identity beliefs, thoughts, and feelings and actions. So do you see how it’s going from very subtle
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Gross actions? You can see material, you can see perceive identities a little bit subtle. Subtle awareness is very, very subtle. Like you can’t, you don’t even know it existed until probably I talked about it, but this is just complete being ness without being tainted by anything. And by the way, this is also what we teach you in the reality marshy program. But what happens is how you’re functioning in this world right now is there is awareness that assumes a certain identity. You believe yourself to be a certain person in relationship with the world. For example, you think you’re capable of certain things like you believe yourself to be the kind of person that does this, the kind of person that experiences that the kind of person that’s only capable of this, right? So in a way, this identity enables you to do certain things and a disabled you to do certain other things.
For example, if you believe, you know, you’re worthy of like 10 K a month in your business, that’s great. You’ll be able to do 10 K a month, but you will be able to get past that because this identity then influences the beliefs that you have about yourself and the beliefs that you have about the world and these beliefs in turn shape, the predominant thoughts and feelings that you have. Okay? And these thoughts and feelings actually drive the actions you take. So for example, if you’re feeling anxious, you’re going to try to do something to get rid of that anxiety. So let’s, let’s put it this way. Let’s say there’s a feeling of anxiety, right? And the thought is, Oh, what’s giving me anxiety is my email. So let’s check the email and get rid of this anxiety. The thought is the rationalization for the presence of a feeling.
There’s a feeling of anxiety. And you think that checking your email is going to get rid of this feeling. So you keep checking your email, but it doesn’t do that. And this is how we fall asleep. This awareness starts to get identified with mind instead of seeing itself as awareness. So in order to undo an identity awareness needs to stay as a win. So instead of becoming mind, awareness now needs to do a turn into itself and stay as a witness. Okay? So let’s see how we can make sense of this. Awareness can only stay as awareness. If there is a deep observation, if there is a deep watching, whenever the thought and the feeling of anxiety comes up, instead of moving with it, instead of getting involved with it, you simply watch it. Okay? You get into the habit of staying as awareness. Instead of moving with mind, please think about this.
Anytime you get an unwanted feeling, instead of rationalizing it with a thought and acting, therefore the thought plus feeling makes you act instead of letting that cycle take place, which then brings in more suffering into your life. More of the same pattern happening into your life, stay as awareness and deeply observe it. So let’s take the example of alcohol, right? Let’s say you’ve been using alcohol to escape your anxiety and escape your pain. And this has become a habit. This has become a habit because you’ve been operating like this and it’s formed a deep identity and a deep belief in you. Maybe you smoke cigarettes, you see yourself as a drinker, you see yourself as a smoker, you see yourself as someone who uses porn, right? When you view yourself that way you, it’s almost like you’re giving an excuse. You’re crafting the form this way so that this pattern can now unfold.
This behavior can now happen, right? So let’s say you see yourself as an alcoholic. And now whenever the, the negative stimuli comes, the thought arises and the thought then triggers the feeling of anxiety. And usually you’re used to escaping the anxiety with drinking. Now this time, instead of reaching for the drink, if you simply observe the thought and the feeling that’s there, you just allow yourself to feel the feeling and see the thought. At first, it’s going to be very uncomfortable, but you don’t move from this watching, okay? You stay with the watching. There is a watching of mind. You simply acknowledge that there is a watching and that’s all there needs to be done. And you try your best to stay there. Maybe at first, you’ll fall into that pattern again, but then slowly you’ll pick yourself up and then you fall again, you pick yourself up and you’ll get better and better at picking yourself up.
What most people do is when they fall into that pattern, they punish themselves. They get into a mode of self judgment. And when that happens, you’re because now you’re building more and you’re giving this more and more resistance. You’re giving this more, more of your attention, which, you know, it gives this pattern more and more energy, okay? And it gets stronger and stronger. It gets deeper and deeper into your identity. It gains more impetus. So let’s solidify the solution. So you can actually use it, the solution to overcoming any pattern, whether it’s overeating, whether it’s compulsively drinking or any other pattern that keeps happening is to deeply observe
And observing sometimes means letting a pattern happen and playing itself out, but you still stay in observance, but you try your best not to move with it because you know that it’s going to cause suffering into your life. So for example, when my instance, I once got into this pattern, let’s say in college of checking my phone, I couldn’t study a tool for my college classes. And I failed like one semester. I almost failed because I just kept getting distracted by my phone and the notifications that were coming up, how I intercepted that was by staying as awareness and watching a pattern happen. Right? Whenever that urge would come up, it always begins with that feeling. And then the feeling produces a thousand thoughts to try and justify the presence of that feeling.
Please see this. Whenever an urge comes up. Now, a lot of thoughts actually come up about it to justify the presence of it. Oh, I feel this way because I need to check my email. All I feel this way, because I need to, you know, check my social media. I feel this way because my life is a mess. It’s not the feeling is just there. The feeling is there, the thoughts are neutral. The thoughts don’t have any charge. The feeling is what covers the thought, the thought is the shape. The feeling is the color to that shape.
Deeply observe both the thought and the feeling, observe the urge arising and watch it without moving with it without getting involved in it, getting involved when it simply means, you know, getting insight stuck in the thoughts of it. When you get involved in the thoughts, you start to like ask questions in the thoughts. You’re like, Oh, why did this happen? When did this come up? You know, why am I thinking this? That’s what it means to get involved with it. Instead of getting involved with it, just observe it deeply, observe and acknowledge it acknowledging means accepting to.
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So you simply acknowledge the presence
Of that feeling. Okay. There is feeling not my feeling. There is feeling there is a watching of this. There is a watching of this urge and see how long you can stay with it. It’s just like at the end of a meal, I used to have to eat dessert. I used to have to eat chocolate. And I saw that it wasn’t serving me anymore because I couldn’t sleep well. My sleep quality got hampered. So I started watching that behavior and I let that be okay. There is watching of this. Let’s see for, you know, I can wait five minutes. And in that five minutes I would watch it. And in this watching, it would dissolve the urge for dessert will just go away. Just like in college, the urge to check my phone would go away. Now I could focus on schoolwork, just like in business.
I can now do deep work because the urge to check every single asset, the so social media, the Stripe accounts, the emails it’s simply there. There’s a deep observation of it. Over time. These things will have less and less of a pull on you. And you’ll see how peaceful your life gets. And you’ll see how much in control of it. You get, you get in control by letting go of these and letting it, letting it play its thing. The mind will try to create all sorts of rationalizations. Like, Oh, if you don’t check it, what if something bad happens? Well, let me ask you this. What if something bad happens? Would it make a difference if you saw it now versus 20 minutes later or a few hours later, it wouldn’t. So it’s all of these rash, rationalizations and justifications that come up the mind tries to trick you and you fall asleep in this trickery. Okay? So that’s the solution deeply observed
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And economics without moving, without reaction, don’t react, observe, acknowledge without reacting.
And with that and conclude this video, let’s do a quick recap of what we talked about today. We talked about why these same patterns and habits keep happening in your life. How to control your mind. What awareness is, what the mind is, what the body is, how to intercept. The biggest problem is seeing patterns keep happening and why these happen is because of your comic proclivity. Okay. There are two types of calm. I didn’t mention this because I don’t think it will be relevant. It’ll just get you lost in concepts. But the two types of comma, sun shooter, karma, and product type, and what that essentially means is there’s a storehouse of karma before, which influences your actions today. And the comma that’s matured today. That’s arising today. Like the thoughts and the feelings that you have, they’re arising today. Instead of letting these comments dissolve, you’re creating new comma for the gummy comment, the third type of karma for the, and that’s why the actions of today are shaping tomorrow. Most people try to change this moment right now. And that’s why they get into resistance. It’s futile to try and change. What is the best thing you can do is accept what is and choose what you want tomorrow.
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The challenges will always try to wake you up and dissolve your comma, but people, instead of dissolving it, they build up more.
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So instead of trying, instead of waking up, you failed by falling asleep and moving with these patterns
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And waking up simply means having
Your awareness at its center, having your awareness as awareness and observing, instead of getting identified with mind, you simply stay as awareness and watch
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And why the same patterns ultimately happened in your life is because your identity ended up shaping your actions, your thoughts and feelings and your beliefs, which bring in the same sorts of situations in your life. People think it’s just the actions that produce success in your business, success in your marriage, you got to take action. You’ve got to do the right things. That’s a small component of it. That’s a very, very small part of it. The action is what the physical equivalent, what you can see, but there is also internal action. Like the identity beliefs, because what happens is not only do they shape the actions you take, but they also, in other ways that you can’t see the subconscious, the unconscious ways put about situations in your life, change your focus, your focal point. Because if you keep focusing on the wrong things, you’ll find more and more right
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Things. If you get clear about the right things, you’ll get,
We’ll find more and more of the right things in your life. So this identity is how you operate, how you view this person in this character, in this world, or when this gets identified with mind. And you think yourself to be a certain person and not a certain other person, you can consciously change this to achieve whatever it is that you want
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In your life.
But for this purpose, we’re dissolving what we
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How you dissolve it is you stay as awareness,
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Identity shaped your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, actions. So it goes from the subtle form to the gross of forms, which is the physical equivalent, the actions, the body, the physical stuff you see in your life. So the solution is to actually deeply observe and that knowledge, whenever those feelings come up, whenever those thoughts come up, instead of reacting to them, most people don’t do it.
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Most people, whenever the thoughts and feelings come up, it makes you fall asleep them because you’re identified
With mind The less and less you identify with mine. And the more and more you stay as awareness,
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Non nondual, the more and more you have control over what happens in your life. Okay?
So with that, I conclude this video. Thank you so much for watching. Please leave me a comment, letting me know what you thought of this. I never do sit down whiteboard videos, but the last video you guys wanted me to do more whiteboard videos and give you demonstrations. And I do think that’s more helpful. So leave me a comment, letting me know what you thought of this. If you like this or not, what kind of views you’d like me to make in the future that would solve your problems. Um, also if you’re new to the channel, make sure you like comment, subscribe, and hit that little bell there. So you’re notified of any new video that I put out. I wanted to quickly announce as well. You can sign up for the free one-to-one consult with me and my team for the reality mastery program.
If you’d like to work closer with us to actually take these teachings to a deeper level, uh, who this is for people who are entrepreneurs, who want to scale up their businesses. And they know they don’t have a tactical or strategic problem, they think they have a tactical strategic problem, but deep down, they’re seeing the same patterns keep happening in their lives, which is reflecting out in their business. You know, you’re stuck at 5k month. You want to scale up to 10, 20, 30, 40 K a month, but you now have an invisible internal barrier that you just can’t see past. That sounds like you you’d like to work closer together to take it to the next level. I invite you to click the link in the description below to schedule a free call with us, to see if we’d be a good fit to work together. And the free Facebook group has also been for you to take advantage of it’s a great community we have in there. So I invite you to that as well. There’s a three question survey you’ve got to fill up and then we’ll get you approved in there. So the link for that is in the description too guys. Thank you so much for watching. I’ll see you next time. Peace.
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